I'm the cat you keep hearing about.

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People expect pet cats to “just hang out, which isn’t realistic,” says Melissa Chan, behavior specialist at the Houston SPCA. Cats are naturally active animals, she says, and “one thing I wish I could tell every cat owner: Cats want to work for their food.

I didn’t want to dignify Melissa’s condescension with a response, but I’m just too miffed.

I sleep 16 hours a day, and I’m a go getter compared to the cats I see on Big Cat Diaries. How sedate much she be if I’m “naturally active?”

Furthermore, I want to work for my food? Look, I love chasing fake mice (who doesn’t?), but what does that have to do with tasty tuna or Greenies treats?

She does make a decent point later in her piece: for reasons I can’t explain, I do get a kick out of touching hands with my nose. I’d do fist bumps too, but people never seem to greet me that way.

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